Lil' G's Adventures

Hangn' in San Fran

2011-02-02T17:29:00.000-08:00

Only in San Francisco do they leave Ghiradelli chocolates on your pillow. Dad made some comment under his breath about how much he would love to sleep smothered in Ghiradelli. I'm...ahhh...just gonna chalk that up to a looong traveling day.

The weather is perfect! Dad wanted to go sunning, but I talked him out of it. You can all thanks me later. Let's go on an adventure!!

First stop: Alcatraz Island for the night tour...

Craziest thing happened when we were in the shower room...Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery came up through the floor in quite the dramatic fashion! And they said 'hey' to Dad, who returned with a casual salute while they were off to hunt down a terrorist. Greatest...thing...ever!!

NooooOOOoooobody knows...the trouble I've seen.
NoooooOOOOooobody knows my sorrows

How did I know that Dad would somehow find his way to the cafeteria?

San Francisco is so romantic. Oh how I wish it was Ginger here with me instead of Dad. He won't even let me snuggle.

Umm...why don't we rig up a pulley system?

I ask Dad: So what's the big deal about clam chowder in a bread bowl? Does it add extra flavor or something?
Dad: Well, Lil' G, you eat the chowder and then you can eat the chowder-soaked bread after. Brings a whole new meaning to scrapping the side of the bowl.
Me: It brings a whole new meaning to "disturbing."

What would a trip to SF be without a run-in with a hippie? We met Angie, the hippie, and spoke with her on the atrocity of corporate deforestation in Thailand and what Greenpeace is doing to stop them. After Dad gave a donation he asked if it was cool to get a picture with his giraffe. You would think a hippie would be all about giraffes, so what's with the pinching and the distance like I'm some smelly rag?

So as acting president of the We May Be Stuffed But We Still Feel - Giraffe Chapter, I met with the White House when I was in Washington, D.C. last August. However, this Administration has not honored a single point on my agenda. Maybe Queen Amidala of the Naboo will be more amenable.

Daddy!?!? Why would they bury these giraffes up to their horns??? What hippie group do I need to speak with to ensure this never happens again?

It's Christmas Time in the City!

2011-02-02T15:16:00.000-08:00

Oooooooooo, New York City! I'm back, baby! And Dad thinks he's some kind of big shot since there was a chocolate on his pillow. Could it be that my personal assistant informed the hotel Lil' G was on his way? I'll let you be the judge.

Dad was so tuckered out, I decided to start working on his emails. After all, the sooner he gets done with work stuff, the sooner we can go on adventures!

On our way to his first meeting, we decide to get lunch. Now, what could be behind this curtain in a swanky Midtown French hotel....?

.....Oh snap, only some of the best burgers in Manhattan.
Carol the cow, this one's for you!

It seems like just last year I was standing at Rockefeller Center's ice skating rink with it's iconic Christmas tree. Oh wait, it was last year.
Take a look at that hoser in the red hoodie. He's soooo gonna get a face full of ice when I get down there and totally own a wicked triple sow cow.

Dad was acting like a big deal once he started getting access to the concierge lounge. Little does he know, but I'm kind of a regular in this joint.
--Excuse me, Winston?
--Oh greetings to you, Mr. G. How's the asparagus tonight?
--Succulent as always, Winston. How's your sweet wife doing?
--Just wonderful. We're expecting our third.
--Marvelous! Simply Marvelous! I noticed there were none of those tasty lemon squares out tonight. Could you possibly scrounge some up?
--Those are usually only on Monday and Thursday evenings, but I'll so see if I can grab a couple. How many would you like, two?
--Better make it three! Ah-har-har-har...
(this was an actual conversation between someone and a Marriott employee)

Forget about lemon squares, get me a piece of Junior's NY cheesecake. Back off, Dad...grrrrrrr...this is all mine, old man.

It was sooooo cold in NY. Dad stopped in Macy's to get a scarf. Ummm...thanks for thinking of me, the African Serengeti is only my natural habitat. Oh, and now I'm being pulled out of your toasty pocket for yet another freezing picture. Fantastic.

So I kind of snapped at Dad saying how he cared more about this blog than my own personal health and well-being. He responded about something like it requires nerves and a heart to feel the cold...we both said hurtful things. We call a truce and split a s'more and hot cocoa at this little place down by NYU that serves chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate. Uncle Richie better steer clear of this little piece of heaven. Ah...har...har...har.....

We had to get back up to Times Sq in order to get tickets to a show. Instead of walking, we decide to take the warmish, urine-stinking, freak-filled subway. Seriously, these guys are more disturbing than them hippos doing ballet in Fantasia. It's just not natural.

Waiting in the TKTS line for tickets to Jersey Boys.
--Hey Dad, why do I need to be standing in 19 degree weather? I can see our hotel from here, can't I just go up to the room?
--No way, you're just gonna get into the maid's cart again.
--ONE TIME! THAT JUST HAPPENED THAT ONE TIME!

Sigh....the last thing we do in NYC is see the incredible Jersey Boys. When is the next time we're going to be back?? It's not soon enough...

Chilly Charlotte

2011-02-02T15:08:00.000-08:00

Brrrrr....it was about 14 degrees in Charlotte during our visit back in December. Normally I'm all about getting out and going on adventures, but really...we're in Charlotte and it's 14 degrees. I'm perfectly fine with a fire in the fireplace and a bit of Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. Dad even tucked me in!

Again with the Utahness?

2011-02-02T14:08:00.000-08:00

Holy cow, (I promised Carol I would throw in a shout out to her in my next blog post) we're back in Utah! Oh wait, it involves Uncle Richie? Okay, that makes sense. Well Aunt Kati and I (oh Dad was there, too) were in the Beehive State -- which, btw, is blatant favoritism to a stinkn' insect. The We May Be Stuffed But We Still Feel: Giraffe Chapter will hear about this -- all of about 24 hrs. So what can do for a few hours? Let's hit the slopes in Park City!!

Ooooo....we're almost to the ski lift! It's a well documented fact that giraffes are natural skiers, what with our unparalleled equilibrium and our sensitivity to the Earth's magnetic field, but apparently it doesn't run in the family cause dad didn't want any part of it. Fine, we'll just walk up and down Main Street like a bunch of losers.

So Dad didn't want to "show off his major snowboarding skills" but when someone brought up hot cocoa, he was more giddy than a gorilla in heat.

Eat more chicken! Seriously, this vaca aint messin around! For the love of all that is green and good in this world... eat more chicken!!!

Hey, look...it's Marty the Moose's hippie cousin, Moonshine. Um...Moonshine, when was the last time someone changed your poncho, cause girl you be stanky.

For all those who couldn't see Uncle Richie star as Romeo in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, here's what you missed. Spoiler Alert: They both die.

Richie, Richie, wherefore art thou, Richie? Seriously, where are you? It's like midnight and we're still at BYU and dad is hogging the soft bench. I asked why I couldn't share it and he said a grown man sleeping with a stuffed animal was not socially acceptable. OH? and keeping one in your pocket and blogging about it is?

No Way, San Jose!

2010-12-21T12:53:00.000-08:00

San Jose, the capital of Silicon Valley. There's gotta be lots of fun adventures to be had here!

The view from Dad's hotel in downtown San Jose. Look! It's Christmas time in California. Dad said they don't celebrate it here but once again he's just wrong.

I see London, I see France, I see the Nutcracker's butt crack. Seriously, there are children present. Modest is hottest, Mr. Nutcracker.

We spent all evening at the Tech Museum. Here I spelled out my name using binary code! 01000111=G

And here you write on a screen with your finger....

And then it's doctored up to look all fabulous and thrown up on the screen for everyone to see!

Woooooah....it's like it can read my mind!

Am I looking out a window at downtown San Antonio? NOPE! I'm on the 270 degree Google Earth exhibit. Now let's fly to NYC!

It t'was so pretty!

O..M...Lil G...There are few things in this world that are more adorable than me. Little puppy dogs dressed up in Christmas costumes and girl scouts singing in a park are, unfortunately, at the top of the adorable list. I hate being out-cuteified.

These were $5 a bottle and someone seriously just downed like twenty bucks worth. I'm so confused as to why someone would throw away an Andrew Jackson when there's free bottle water up the the concierge lounge....

Cleveland Rocks...I guess

2010-12-21T12:28:00.000-08:00

Whew! I'm almost all caught up on my blog! Next stop, Cleveland!

Just east of Cleveland was the small village of Kirtland. Boy, were the trees pretty!

Dad left me to be the navigator, but I ended up getting the high score on Bejewelled Blitz instead of keeping up the GPS on his phone. He was a little miffed, but look at all those tasty trees!

We finally made it to Kirtland! Dad didn't let me munch any on the foliage so I'm famished. Let's stop in this little general store and see if they have anything worth my time.

So it turns out the general store was more of a museum then an actual store. No worries, Texas Roadhouse to the rescue! Dad had to explain to the waitress for about 5 minutes of the importance of pickles and onions in connection with pulled pork BBQ. It's not entirely as good as Texas, but with some p&o it's closer...

Just a short stroll from Dad's hotel is the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. I already had the mohawk so I was pretty much set.

Awww...I love my dad! He doesn't let me snuggle with him 'cause he says that's just weird so I'll get some Harvey time from this sign.

Flip, Flip, Flip-adelphia!

2010-12-21T11:30:00.000-08:00

On the road, again. This time...Philadelphia!

DFW Airport...yet again. We were just sitting there, minding our own business, when this Army guy comes up with his dog. Dad, ever biased toward cute dogs, was excited. I, however, am still fighting the ghosts of my past. And with Chet out there doing who-knows-what in my name, I was naturally a little nervous. Dad told me to come out of his luggage and take a look. As soon as I got out, Scruffy here got all kinds of excited. Whether he thought I was my evil-twin Chet in need of justice or a chew toy, it didn't matter...I started to squirm and whimper until Dad tucked me safely away.

The actual Liberty Bell! If you line up the crack with the third pane of glass from the left during the Winter Solstice, I'm told a shadow will be cast that opens a door which leads Ben Franklin's secret stash of BBQ turkey legs.

Hey! What's up with all the white guys? Where's the giraffe delegation??

Getting in line to go inside Independence Hall. Indeed.

The courtroom side of Independence Hall. Our tour guide is holding a royal seal that hung above the judge's stand prior to July, 1776. The story is that when the people heard the Declaration of Independence read in the courtyard, they ran inside and with Patriotic zeal tore down all symbols of Great Britain, dragged them through the streets, and then set them ablaze. Proving the notion that Philadelphia fans haven't changed at all in the last two centuries.

The chair at the front of the room was the actual one George Washington sat in as President of the Constitutional Convention! Dad almost threw me up there so I could touch it, but our tour guide had a pony-tail and we all know that he's leery of men with ponytails.

The location of one of Daddy's favorite moments of musical motion pictures. Anyone who has seen the musical 1776 should recognize this and instantly giggle as the image comes to mind of Franklin, Livingston, and Sherman do a high-kick routine down these steps singing 'Combustibility! Combustibility! Com-busta-bil-it' and then John Adams screams 'QUIET!!' Classic.

For those who have no idea what I'm talking about...

Oh yeah, this was also the building where some of the leading minds of the 18th Century put together this crazy idea of freedom, limited government, and individual responsibility. But while I'm still waiting for the Giraffe Civil Rights Amendment I drafted during my tenure as President of We May Be Stuffed But We Still Feel - Giraffe Chapter...I have hope in America.

An Adventure Right at Home! H-E-B!!!

2010-12-21T10:53:00.000-08:00

An H-E-B just opened about 30 miles from Dad's house in Burleson, TX! If battling down I-35W through Fort Worth wasn't more difficult than breaching the Black Gate of Mordor, we'd always be doing our shopping here!

It's so beautiful!

Beautiful, delicious, bananas. Melvin the Monkey could put put H-E-B out of business at 29 cents a pound!

Bucket O' Brisket with a Texas flag on top? Who wouldn't!?!

Tortellini, sauce, steamed veggies, bread, and cookies for just over $5 bucks? These gatos are loco!!

After seeing a dozen eggs for 49 cents we rolled down to get a gallon of leche. No stinkn way...78 cents a gallon?!?! I'm getting a little light-headed....

Pssshhhhh....only the coolest grocery stores have a freakn mascot. I wanted a personal picture with H-E-Buddy, but Dad is a bit leery of soft fluffy things that could possibly beat him up, so we stood clear.

Oh how I miss you already, H-E-B. Dad has picked out a nice piece of land in North Ft Worth if you ever want to expand happiness and joy to that part of Texas!

Miami and the Keys!

2010-12-21T09:52:00.000-08:00

Dad was upgraded to a corner room on the 27th floor! It's a bit gloomy here in Miami, so let's head down to the Florida Keys!

Holy bananas, Key West was forever away. Dad thought it was like an hour from Miami...turns out it's out in the middle of the dad-gum ocean.

Along our 7 hr round trip, we come across a key that is supposedly is the natural habitat of an endangered deer species. I have sooooooo many questions:

1) How did deer make their natural habitat on an island?
2) If the hippies created a sanctuary, then why did they pick a place that has a highway going right down the middle?
3) These are 'key' deer...what makes them so critical and what role do they play?
3a) Are they celebrities?
3b)Do they put on shows or have their own blog?
3c) What paperwork do I need to fill out to get classified as a key giraffe?
3d) Is that a state or federal issue or do I need to bump it all the way up to the UN?
4) Who in their right mind is giving speed to the all-important and special deer?
4a) Why doesn't it kill the lame-o deer
4b) Is there some kind of well-known hierarchy to drug dealers, yet unknown to the scientific world, where only those deer who 'make it' are sold speed?4c) Is the reason for the fence to protect the public from whacked-out, psychopathic deer with a superiority complex?

We survived the Jurassic Park-like horror of the Key Deer and made it to Key West!

Whoa, we had no idea that one of America's most famous writers lived here in Key West. I was kinda impressed but Dad goes into a trance, reliving the nightmare of freshman year English when he was forced to read The Old Man and the Sea. 128 pages about an old Cuban fisherman who catches a huge fish, can't pull it in his little dingy, gets a little fish-crush on it, names it Reginald, kills Reginald, drags Reginald back to his village, oh no..shark!, oh no..shark!, oh no...shark!, pulls back into port with nothing but bones, the old man takes a nap.

Dad insisted he already wasted $6 bucks and 3 weeks of his life on Mr. Hemingway, there's no way Ernie is going to get another dime...so we moved on.

Ahhh...nothing like a little bit of sun to bring out my beautiful brown spots.

Dad had to go potty so he went back to the hotel for a few minutes. I was like:

Just go in the ocean?

What am I, some kind of animal?

Hurtful...

When he came back, he discovered me in this masterpiece. He seemed genuinely impressed that a stuffed little giraffe could construct such a wonder. Then I told him I just moved in after some boys built it and then scampered off. Then he said I ain't nothin' more than a squatter.

Hurtful...

Ahhhh.....would that we could ride a 777 everywhere we went. We had our own little TV and could watch any number of movies. Feeling bad for the insults he spat at me in a moment of desperation (guess he really had to use the bathroom), he let me watch Despicable Me. I know from the several giggles coming behind me he was enjoying it, too.

Where's our next adventure??

Lil G is a Yankee Doodle Dandy!

2010-12-01T09:12:00.000-08:00

And yet another 1 week, 2 cities whirlwind. This time Minneapolis and Nashua. Time to get all American up in this joint!

First stop...the Mall of America!

Holy heifer! There are all kinds of stuff in here...that no one is doing. Maybe it's because it's like 4:40 on a Tuesday afternoon or maybe it's because, like, American malls stopped, like, being a hang out spots in, like, 1996. This is sooo 15 years ago.

For the most part, the Mall of America was a big disappointment. Just a lot of stores we see everywhere else. In fact, several stores have multiple locations within the mall...sooo this wasn't much of an adventure. Wwait.....what's this? A Microsoft Store is opening directly across from the Apple Store on Nov 6? Oh SNAP! I almost want to wait until then to see the inevitable throw-down that's going to happen.

Seriously, I'm getting a total West Side Story vibe. I can see it all now...all manner of dancing and snapping and saying things like 'Cool!' and 'Neat!' and then flashing out flip phones. Then Starlight--a moody and misunderstood free spirit who is uniquely unique but is a slave to trends--meets Wallace--confident in his element, safe within his personal boundaries, and hesitant to tread outside what is deemed comfortable--as their eyes lock mid-kick ball change. Wallace is drawn in by Starlight's many and varied scrunchies and hair ties while Starlight appreciates the crisp lines of his freshly pressed polo shirt. They come from different worlds, and the animosity engulfing this small corner of the Mall of America seems to only fuel the forbidden flame of their love.

We move from the Great White North to the Boston suburb of New Hampshire.

Our time in New England was way too short. We didn't get time to really do or see anything outside of Dad's meeting. Ugh...I'm so ready for an adventure!

Ok, never mind....I'm all tuckered out. Where are we off to next, Dad?

The Big Arch and The Big Apple

2010-11-30T19:54:00.000-08:00

St. Louis and New York City in the same week? Let the adventures begin!!

Whoa, that's a big arch. Well, guess that's it, let's head back to the hotel. Wait...what? There's a museum under it? Mmmmhmmm, just like the Alamo has a basement, right?

Well shorten my neck and call me a cheetah, there is a museum in the basement of the arch! And who would have ever guessed that William Clark of the Lewis and Clark expedition would be such a dang creeper?

Hey Lowell! We're headed back to Texas at the end of the week, wanna come with us? We gotta make a stop in NYC first, but I'm sure Daddy wouldn't mind. Think you could fit in the overhead compartment on the plane?

Hey, you think it could be the Mississippi River? Maybe it's the ocean....inside joke...

We ate dinner at the cool little steak place right off the river. There were cobblestone streets, old brick buildings, and fun old-school lamp posts. Daddy kept insisting the restaurant was an old brothel...oh Dad and his brothel obsession....

Well get this...we leave St Louis bound for NYC and we have a layover in...that's right, DFW. So we headed over to the super swank terminal D and found this awesome little alcove with big fluffy chairs and TVs and watched the series finale of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. It could've been worse.

The view from our hotel room. I stinkin love New York City!! Holy hippo crap I wanna go back!

Times Sq getting some tickets. What are we gonna see!?!?!

Ooooooo Let's see Avenue Q! It stars puppets, what good, clean fun we're going to have! Well after hearing songs like 'Everyone's a Little Bit Racist' and 'I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today' and with characters like 'Lucy the Slut' I realized my first impressions were a bit misguided. I don't think BYU will be performing this production anytime soon, but even though Dad had to cover my eyes during the puppet sex scene, Dad still just about fell out of his chair laughing his kiester off throughout the show.

Washington Square. This was where all the vampire zombies made their final assault on Will Smith during the movie I am Legend. If only we were lucky enough to meet Will Smith!

Sushi in Greenwich Village. No big deal

Let's go Rangers! Clap-clap-clap, clap, clap! Oh, and V-neck sighting number 1,543,779.

Dad has been waiting forever to see Next to Normal. He thinks it's his favorite musical but I kinda wanna go back and see Lucy the Slut.

Our last night in the City. We were making our way back to the hotel we stop off at Bryant Park which was right across the street.
Sigh...Dad, I don't wanna leave!
Fine, you can stay here, Lil G
Please, you know full well someone as cute and adorable as me wouldn't stand a chance here without a pocket to hide in.
Fine, let's go back to the Great Lone Star State.

Ok, we thought we were headed back to the Great Lone Star State. Change of plans...our flight out of JFK was canceled so we had to head across Queens to LaGuardia. Apparently they shut down some of the highways around here when there's some standing water. That doesn't stop, Nabiib, the suicidal shuttle bus driver from hell, from keeping his schedule. Weaving in and out of jammed side streets and neighborhoods, jumping medians, and heading head-on into oncoming traffic were all part of our final adventure in the Big Apple!!

This is the Place, Apparently...

2010-11-19T06:54:00.000-08:00

Dad reserved a 'Full Size' car from Avis for his trip to Salt Lake City. Apparently a Ford Expedition is what Utahionians consider full size. When Dad told me we weren't going to the SLC Zoo and then proceeded to mock my whining-yet mature-protests, I couldn't be more thankful for the three rows of seats.

Again with the excess....Here's Dad's room....

And across the living room and kitchen....here's my room! Ugh...no DVR?!?! How am I supposed to live like this? What am I, some kind of animal?

Seriously? Traffic in SLC? Holy crap, people are bailing left and right over the median and only one State Trooper to maintain peace! These people are crazzzzzy!

Tell me when the insanity is over! Holy crap I look cute!

Yay! Family prayer! U-U-U-U-UCREW! That's what Dad's family did after family prayer....which is....normal.

Behold, Brother Brigham, the choicest beast of all the beasts of the field!

What would be a trip to SLC without a visit to Temple Square? Hey, where's Sister Rasmussen? There is a giraffe that needs a tour up in this mess!

Dear Uncle Richie, please refrain from your attempts to one-up me in being adorable. I know how frustrated you can get, but I appreciate the challenge. Now Michelle, please lower me gently so as to not create a sudden draft that might mess up my mane.

We saw The Taming of the Shrew and everyone was all, 'Lil G, go take a picture with some cast members. Hey Lil G, get on top of her head' and I was all, 'Uh, let's have some respect for the arts people.' and they were all 'uh' and I was all 'fine'

'Hey Lil G, now get all up in the set'

'Hey Lil G, now get up in the little boat!'
'HEY! I'm not some mindless meerkat to prance around on some Animal Planet miniseries for your amusement!

First Stop on the Tour: Chicago!

2010-09-11T05:39:00.000-07:00

Daddy is going to start traveling every week. That means a lot of stress for him but tons of adventures for me!

First stop, Chicago! And we're staying downtown! And...we're sitting in traffic. In fact, we spent many hours sitting in traffic. Boo! What fun is having nothing to do other than listen to Dad sing, or scream, along to a Glee! album? Please...think of the children!

Dad realized around 11 last night that he forgot his belt so he had to get one before his first meeting. Where can you go at 7 am to buy a belt? Am I seriously at Walmart?

Yay! We're off to do something fun! I've wanted to see Billy Elliot for like ever and now we are going to! Are there going to be talent scouts in the audience, do you suppose?

WOW! We're 10 rows up right in the middle! I LOVE my daddy!

OMG! We were walking back to the hotel and right around the corner we ran into Giuseppe Bausilio, aka Billy Elliot! He's almost adorable as me!
-Um, Lil' G, normal people don't talk like that
-Um, Dad, normal people don't talk to little stuffed giraffes they keep in their pocket
-Hurtful...

The weather was amazing in Chicago! And the town really lived up to it's "Windy City" name. As soon as Dad took this picture, a gust nearly knocked me off the bridge. I fear what would happen to Dad if I was ever truly lost. I think it would involve a general lack of personal hygiene, not moving a muscle for days, and a possible 24 hr watch to ensure he doesn't go overboard and buy every stuffed giraffe he can get his hands on.

Dad had already been to Chicago before I came around, and with his schedule we didn't get to do all that much. Mostly we sat in traffic, Dad went to meetings, and then back here to the hotel room. It's okay, next week we're off to Salt Lake City!!

Lil' G Goes to Washington!

2010-09-10T16:02:00.000-07:00

Oh, and Daddy was there, too...

Ok...I was so excited, I might have spent the night in the car.
Come on, Dad! Let's get this show on the road!!!

Whew, we finally made it. We were staying with Aunt Erin Jo and Uncle Dallin so we had to take the train down to Alexandria...which meant more waiting. Ugh! I can barely stay in my stitching I'm so excited. Let the adventures begin!!

That first night we went down to Oldtown Alexandria for dinner and I saw this...for those in the U-Crew: Isn't this beautiful!!!! U-S-A (clap clap clap) YES! BEAUTIFULLLLLLL!!!

Uncle Dallin said that this was the CVS that George Washington went to for his prescriptions and wooden toothies repairs. Daddy was eating it up, but giraffes are skeptical creatures, by nature, so I was quite dubious to say the least.

The next morning we were headed down to the Lincoln Memorial for Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor rally and holy hippos were the trains packed. Good thing I'm pocket-sized!!

We're here! On our way we heard a lot of protesters saying how hateful Glenn Beck is and how he's a liar and has poopy breath. This should be some good action!! Let's see what kind of crazy, fanatical, racist, haters of all things that are good and fluffy actually attend these things...

The horror lies before us as we make our way with about 40 minutes before it starts. How many lawn chairs and fanny packs does a normal mob have, cause this is highly disappointing. A man apologized for stepping into Dad's picture, people were moving out of the way to make room for us, and if I had to hear one more 'oh pardon me' I was gonna puke. This had all the makings of a wilder beast stampedee, but it turned out to be one big boring love-fest of inclusiveness and diversity. Let's see if I can change this...

"Hey hippy! Cut that hair!" Dang it! All he did was smile and wave. Not even a swear word.

Fine....I give in. If you can't beat them, or make them beat on each other...join 'em.

After the rally, we decided to hit up a few museums. First stop: the Holocaust Memorial. We couldn't take any pictures inside, but needless to say, Daddy shed many a tear. I can't really mock him this time...if I were equiped with the proper glands, I would've been bawling too. I just don't get humans sometimes...

From there, the National Air and Space Museum. This shows the requirements to be an airline stewardess in the 1950s. After reading this, Erin Jo was like 'this is the worst thing I've ever seen!' Ummm...we just came from the Holocaust Memorial and this is the worst thing you've ever seen??

Psssss....spread the word...I got it all worked out....tonight's the night. Be ready and make sure yall pack your swim suits!

Kermit!?! Did Aunt Kati get tired and donate you to the Smithsonian?? Oh Daddy, please tell me I'll never end up encased in glass! How could I ever have an adventure?? This is far too disturbing, let us leave this place.

Ever bite down on aluminum foil? I've now felt your pain!

While Daddy was running from harmless bees, I was taking on this brute of a beast. Haggard isn't around to save your butt this time, buddy!

Ummmm...Ma'am...I really don't think you're supposed to be eating in here. Hey! Who do you think you are just sitting down like you own the place?? You better hurry up, the security guard is on his way. Daddy, do something! She looks even more pathetic, lost, and afraid than you on a basketball court.

Finally some grub. If the hamburger is as tall as I am, you know Daddy's one happy man.

The Capitol...or, as one tourist around us thought, the White House. No lie.

Now we're really at the White House. I had to leave everyone at the gate while I went in and presented the demands of 'We May Be Stuffed, But We Still Feel - Giraffe Chapter' to President Obama. Unfortunately, no cameras were allowed, so I don't have any evidence of the meeting, but I dare you to check the White House log book.

Finally, after a long weekend, my hooves are hurtn and Daddy's wheezing, but oh the fun we had! This weekend just couldn't get any better.
O...M...G...is that a T-Rex?? Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!!! Can I go play? Huh? Can I, Can I, Can I??
-Now Lil' G, what have I always said about playing with a T-Rex?
-They have a complex about their tiny forearms, and are more explosive than the Lactinator.
-That's right, better to be safe than sorry.
-Fine....whatever. Let's just get back to Texas so we can start another adventure!

Take Me Out on a Date, err to the Ballgame!!

2010-08-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

I think I found her. Her name is Ginger and we met while at the Fort Worth Zoo a few weeks ago. Well Daddy got tickets to the Rangers/Red Sox game and I figured it was the perfect chance to get to know her better. This is uncharted territory for me. What an adventure I'm about to have!

MMMmmmmm....we got the tickets which included the all-you-can-eat package. I'll give you one guess as to who was in charge of buying the tickets...

It was so hot! I mean, it was hotter than a hippo's backside in the dry season. Combine that with a capacity crowd and not the slightest breeze in the tri-county area, it was hot. Did I say it was hot? Second hottest Rangers game in history, actually. That being said, you couldn't separate Ginger and me.

Something interesting I found out about Ginger. She's afraid of heights. A giraffe...who's afraid of heights....it's time to face this fear. Hold my hoof, Ginger...it'll be alright.

Truth be told, the reason I wanted her to conquer her phobia was so we could watch the sunset without the fear of her throwing up or fainting. Thank goodness she got over it fast 'cause we're adorable together!

Daddy said "oh, this is apparently where I belong." I was confused....Dad doesn't smoke so I looked at the sign, then back at him then back at the sign then back at him...."um Dad, this is an area for smokers, not smoking hot people. In either case you don't belong here" Then I slapped him so he would equate stupid statements with pain. Oooo look a big baseball!

Freshly off her fear of heights, Ginger wants to slide down the banister back to our seats but still wanted me to go first. She caught up pretty quick and kept screaming 'Faster! Faster!' "Excuse me, I'm sliding here. You better check yo'self before you wreck yo'self!"

After our little jaunt to the upper-level, I was quite peckish, so I decided to head to the watering hole. It was hot and just having a cold (and I might add, free) beverage to hold made all the difference in the world. Ginger disapproved, though.
"Isn't that your third diet coke tonight, Lil' G??"
"Don't tell me my business, devil woman."
I don't know if it was my little outburst or the fact that small giraffes were being served that totally confused Tyrone there in the background. It didn't get any better when Dad tried to explain:
"What's that??"
"His name is Lil' G."
blank, confused look
"I take him around and take pictures."
blank, confused look
"He has a blog...."
Then he turned around with a look on his face of Dang, white people be crazy

That's why I love my Dad!

New Post, Coast 2 Coast!

2010-08-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

In June, Daddy was in San Francisco and then Maine...in the same week. Coast to coast, baby...let's do this!

First stop, Oakland California LDS Temple. Here I am with my friends Willie, Billy, and Bud discussing the inscribed scripture verse. Willie asked me, "Lil' G...why doesn't Jesus mention giraffes?" to which I responded, "Sweet Willie, He did."

"He did?"

"Oh yes, child. The words which were spoken were too scared, too holy, and too sanctified, however, for any written language. In fact, He made giraffes so tall just so we could be that much closer to Him"

"Oh....I thought He made your long necks 'cause He had a sense of humor"

Checked into the hotel and out on the town...but Dad forgot his camera so he had to use his phone. What kind of professional operation are we running here?

Got my trolley ticket! I'm so EXCITED...let's go on an adventure!!

The first cable car was tested on Nob Hill in 1873 and public service began that same year. To think of all the people who have held this handle over the past several decades makes me...kinda sick. The lady beneath me kept glancing up with a worried look on her face. I wanted to say, "hey hippie, I'm not a filthy pigeon I'm a stuffed giraffe. The only droppings you need to concern yourself with is if I spontaneously bust a seam." Daddy said she just thought I was adorable, but he didn't see the look of fear/disgust in her eyes.

The icky hand holding thingy and the judgemental look of that human made me decide to look for a better spot, and we somehow scored a seat at the very front. It was almost like a roller coaster!

I just couldn't sit still....So I got up and went to the back to chill with Lenny. After a ton of expert schmoozing and persuading and reasoning, Lenny finally relented and let me drive! Is 'drive' the right word, Lil' G? Don't question me, I'm the engineer!

My masterful conductor skills brought us successfully to our destination...Fisherman's Wharf. Um...Dad, would you kindly remove your thumb from my crotch?

I'm ordering from the "Little Fisherman's Menu" cause I'm so adorable!! BTW, hidden in that back there in the mist is the Golden Gate Bridge.

The view from the hotel looking down on Union Square. Is that a Cheesecake Factory down there? That would explain the drooling coming from Daddy.

Boy, oh boy, was the West Coast fun! But now it's off to Maine!!

When we got into Portland, Daddy was surprised to see the rental "car" Avis gave him wasn't a car at all, but a minivan. And not just any minivan...it was the exact same kind he always got as the EFY cruiser. The whole drive from Portland to Freeport, where we were staying, he was on the verge of tears as he went through memory after memory from the days of yore. Nina sitting shotgun looking through the session binder, the BCs sitting in the back bickering like any good family, flying through Trinty cause they had to be at the Laurie 10 min ago and praying the violent jolts were speed bumps and not youth, hauling dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of pizzas over to Prassel, and Mark Bishop refusing to move a muscle until the doors were opened remotely. To make it worse, that day was the day Dad was supposed to go with Sallie and Garrett to crash the Denton session.

Needless to say, Dad was a mess and only wanted to be alone with his hot cocoa and I had the keys...

Time for an adventure!!

Ok...so I have to give Dad some credit. Despite his emotional state, he still saw right though my 'hey buddy, you want me to get you another cup of hot cocoa? I'll just go down to the lobby and be right back...' ploy. Fine. I don't need a EFY cruiser van to have fun when I score a sweet ride like Marty the Moose. I fit perfectly into his huge antlers. Onward, Marty...onward to fame and glory!

Maine was so awesome...not as in the California/Mormon use of the word, but in the 'full of awe' kind of context. The fact that it was downright chilly while Texas was baking didn't hurt, but everything was so quaint and serene. Ahhhh.....this grass smells delicious.

Just reading in the park...move along people...nothing to see her'!

This is an adorable little main street...almost as adorable as me!

Holy shnickies! What weirdo keeps a 3 foot wizard in their window? On second thought, what kind of weirdo keeps a blog about a tiny giraffe?

Trying to find my way back to the hotel room. Marty said he knew the way but I know we never crossed this bridge before. Marty was starting to get on my nerves, to be honest...acting like a big know-it-all. Are all moosen this arrogant and stubborn? He was all I go this way all the time. You're telling me you maneuvered them big ole antlers down this narrow bridge without gettn them stuck in the cable?!? Ugh, just get me back to my dad.

O...M...G...Marty needed to go, but with my little adorable legs it would've taken me forever to make it back so I was pretty much stuck. However, don't think for a moment when I saw this sign I wasn't wishing for a Mack truck to barrel down the road and take out a particularly annoying moose out of the picture. I'm sure I could kick in the charm and hitchhike with said truck driver/great deliverer back to Freeport.

So once we got close I gave Dad a call and let him know we're almost back to town. He said to meet at the L.L. Bean flagship store located there Freeport. When I told Marty to head that way, he insisted he would drop me off a block away since that happened to be the night the moose hunting license raffle was going on. Did the stars suddenly align? I almost teared up as I recognized this as one of those special 'tender mercies' moments Daddy's always talking about.

Um...that's a big boot and I just can't stop staring. I have to climb it.

Even though it was pretty dark, for some reason Dad couldn't muscle up enough photographic talent to get the sign behind me clearly...Which states climbing on the boot could detrimental to my health.

Tell that to the moose I just made waltz into hunters HQ...

Now that I'm back with Daddy, things got back to normal real quick. Like pulling up to this fine dining establishment. Don't let the New England facade fool you...it's still just a McDonald's.

Before heading to the airport, Dad decided to detour through downtown Portland. After making some remarks of his disbelief on how you can find Mexican street vendors even in Maine, his frustration with San Francisco hippies and then Maineian hippies in the same week, and his semi-gay comments about how much he enjoys cobblestone streets and antique lampposts, I realized how much I love my Daddy!

Flash Back!

2010-08-10T19:25:00.000-07:00

If one goes back to the genesis of this blog, he or she or it would realize this was actually a cry for help. Against all odds, I, Lil' G Uminski, not only learned to use a computer, but was able to obtain photographic evidence of my countless abductions at the hands of the 2009 Texas EFY BC team in the hope that my ever diligent daddy would come to my rescue! Alas, let the record show that he was pretty much as big of a failure in that department as he is with keeping up this blog.

However, Daddy and I have stumbled upon something wonderful and great; something from a time when summers consisted of yelling "lights out!" to HB's, laughing in the site office till all hours of the morning, and basking in the glow of the youth of Zion. Thanks to the efforts of Mark Bishop and Windows Movie Maker (which Daddy just now realized was on his laptop)....Behold, I give you, a flash back to the San Antonio 2 (technically it was 3, but let's not go there) 2009 Slide Show Finale, starring none other than ME....LIL' G!!!!!!

Stay tuned for my adventures in San Francisco, Maine, and the Fort Worth Stockyards!!

Rocking Out! \oo/

2010-07-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

All aboard!! Well...actually not so much. We ended up missing our train to the AAC so we sat waiting...and waiting...and waiting on this platform. All I'm saying is it's a good thing Melinda was there to hold a conversation. I would have gone batty trying to find something to talk to Dad about.

"soooooo...you're a giraffe....how's that working out for you?"

"well, alright i guess. i mean the demands of being the superior species of the planet can become draining at times, but they don't call me lil' g for nothing."

"i thought you were named after an african american cafeteria worker at UNT"

"So?"

and then I stare him down until he yields. Lil' G: 1345 Daddy:9

We missed Sick Puppies and most of Shinedown due to Dad's poor judgment in the timing of the Dallas light rail system, but we finally arrived in time to see one of Dad's favorite bands: Breaking Benjamin. I must admit I quite enjoyed their set. And while I think I still prefer the witty repartee and general booty bouncing beat of Abba, I have to give props to Dad for his choice in music...Daddy, you're up to ten points!!

After Breaking Benjamin we went out, walked around the AAC a bit, and found this great little display of Texas greatness. Daddy was like, "Lil' G, get over there and let me take a picture" and I was all, "you're going to try and make it look like I'm a giraffe with longhorns." Dad insisted "No! I would never demean you so! Don't you love Texas?!?"

The result: poor attempt at humor at the expense of a small giraffe and the remains of a once noble beast of the field.

Look how happy I am with the Moff! This was taken before we watched the headlining band, Nickleback, and were tainted by the never-ending barrage of F-bombs. At one point, Dad had to cover my cute little adorable ears. Maybe someone like Chet would have found this display of profanity funny and entertaining, however someone with my level of refinement and innocence simply found it reviling and pathetic.

It's Peanut Butter Time!!

2010-06-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

Daddy volunteered to drive down to Houston to help with a service assignment at the LDS Peanut Butter Cannery. What a worthwhile adventure this will be! We visited his sister's family, but the jerk forgot me in the car so I didn't get to play with all his adorable nieces and nephews...

In any case, let's get this party started!

We made a little detour to see the Houston LDS Temple. Daddy was like 'Wow, I don't remember the trees being this big from when I was here to take out my endowment.' Ummm...Daddy, that was like nine years ago. PS, you're old.

Yay! here we are.

Lil G here and ready to serve!!

Holy Geoffry the Giraffe, look at all these peanuts!! Daddy made some comment about how he would like to swimming in a pool full of roasted peanuts or something. I don't know for sure, I was too disturbed to pay attention.

Another dozen jars of peanut butter ready to go. I got in trouble for riding down this amazing contraption, but it was just too fun to resist.

" Hey! Get Back to WORK!"

Oh snap, look how scared Seth looks! I'm a hoss!

Last of the five pallets we did. 4,000 jars of peanut butter ready to go!

While Daddy was working in the cannery, I decided to go next door. I tried to find a wife for Daddy, but apparently they don't help in that area...Oh well, the trip was still a success!!

Act Three: Back in the Big Apple

2010-06-07T11:23:00.001-07:00

It only took about 6 weeks, but Daddy finally is updating my blog!

Ahhhhh....back in New York City! This time with Grandma, Uncle Richie and Aunt Kati. We're going to have so many adventures!!

The night before Aunt Kati arrived, we decided to try out some cheesecake. Daddy wasn't expecting too much, but once he saw that someone managed to combine his beloved carrot cake with cheesecake, he was intrigued. When the waiter arrived with this little slice of the Celestial Kingdom, he totally zoned out. I'm not lying when I say I literally had seconds to take this picture before the carnage began. The poor dessert never stood a chance.

The next morning, while Uncle Richie was busy with his showcase, Grandma and I went up to the Museum of Natural History. I stood in awe of the power of this once majestic beast. If only I could have such a presence! Daddy saw the longing in my eyes and told me not to worry, 'One day, you'll have your day in the sun, Lil' G. No one will be able to ignore or dismiss you. You will grow to command respect, I promise.' With that, he stuffed me back into his pocket.

Daddy, don't be scurred!! I've tusseled with these guys before. They look big and threating but they're just big marshmellows. Daddy, focus! They're not really marshmellows...

Oh snap! I thought they were exaggerating about the rodents lurking in the darkness of the NY subways. Run Daddy, I'll cut this fool.

You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow!

YOU...SHALL NOT...PASS!

Finally Aunt Kati arrived, and along with her came...competition. Lo and behold, another small animal pops out of her purse. But this isn't just any other pocket-sized stuffed animal, it's Kermit-the freakn-Frog. How am I supposed to compete with a celebrity?? Here I am, just trying to enjoy a massive sundae with all manner of delicious fruits and treats, and once the camera comes out, Kermit just has to get in the shot. Seriously? What is it about Hollywood schmucks and their constant need for attention?? I'm so gonna cut this fool.

We get back to the hotel room and Kermit grabs the remote to turn on the TV. Muppets In Space marathon or some crap like that is probably on that he just can't miss....Turns out he flips over to ESPN to watch the Spurs post-game report.

The San Antonio Spurs have made friends out of adversaries. The miracles they work never cease to amaze me. Who would have thought I would find a brother in a large, green, amphibian?

Greatest...Picture...EVER.

Daddy and I love Central Park. He was such a trooper, walking all 51 blocks north to south. Everything was so beautiful! Just look at all this amazing appetizing foliage!

These are my peeps. I tried to get Daddy to buy me a big brother or sister, but he said they wouldn't fit in the carry-on compartment on the plane. I should have known he looks at giraffes simply as 'things' to stuff into things. I'm so disgusted with this right now.

I'll have to make sure to get this on the agenda at next year's convention for 'We May be Stuffed, But We Still Feel - Giraffe Chapter.'

Oh yeah, work it! You're a proud black Barbie doll, show me some of that attitude!

Not many people know this, but the best way to take down a Lego-Wookie is to go straight for the jugular.

I'm recognizing a trend here. Food..save Daddy from some foe...more food...another foe...more food...it's a vicious cycle.

One of the three shows we saw. I'm so tired of being in the audience. I belong on that stage!!

Lady Liberty. I was a little worried that after she went on her little stroll through NYC in the 1989 film, Ghostbusters II, that she would take her new found freedom and go on a country-wide tour/rampage. However, I believe she understands liberty implies a sense of responsibility and as such returned to her pedestal.

Ellis Island, where millions of would-be Americans came into this country. Daddy went off on a tangent of how we have lost touch with the spirit of legal immigration, blah blah blah...oh my, this shrub is delectable!

CHET! You're The Bain of My Existence!

2010-04-05T20:23:00.000-07:00

I have been violated.

My innocence and virtue has been dragged through the mud like a bloated filthy hippopotamus (no offense, Hefty) once again by my alter, and oh so much less adorable, ego, Chet. Long have you haunted my dreams. Apparently restraining orders do not apply to online activities. I will have to see Judge Juda about that.

Instead of the abhorrent and illicit activities I 'allegedly' participated in during Easter weekend, I instead spent the holiest of holidays watching Conference with Daddy, reflecting on the sacrifice of the Savior of all creations and His triumph over death....and enjoying the droppings of the Easter Bunny.

Daddy said this is a nest just like he used to get from the Easter Bunny when he was just a lad. How I love Daddy and how I love my distant cousin, the Easter Bunny, and how I loath that foul cretin, Chet.

As Geoffrey the Giraffe as my witness, you will rue the day you messed with me and my blog. Rue it!

Hop till you drop...

2010-04-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

Guess what I did this Easter Weekend?

I had an adventure, very possibly the most interesting one yet!

I went to the Pool, and had a lot of fun. Wild and Crazy Kids had NOTHING on this!

These two chicas were watching me... almost as much as I was watching them!

Since I didn't score with those two hotties, I decided I need to pump some iron.

Here's me trying to get swoll!

I thought posing provocatively under this sign would tell people I could help them with mouth to mouth, but Daddy said it's for a fibalator. I thought he was just cussing again. Apparently it's to help people or something, lame.

Finally, a girl noticed me! Becky and I hit it off REAL quick. She was pretty enough that I considered lowering my standards for a bit. I was hoping Daddy wouldn't find me enjoying art, grapes, and some fine Franzia with this incredible waitress.

He did. He took me to this sign, and talked to me about the perils of cocktail waitresses.

Again, more cussing.

He took me out back to breathe, while making jokes about operating heavy machinery while inebriated. The most embarrassing part is that I hurled exactly 6 seconds after this photo was taken. Good thing Becky wasn't watching.

I tried to stop by my dealer, but Daddy said any place you have to knock in a certain way and ask for Javier was probably sketchy.

He's obviously an amateur.

Happy Easter!

Act Two...Upstate and In Your Face!

2010-03-12T16:59:00.000-08:00

Well it took Daddy months to get our NYC trip up. I would have done it, but he saw his credit card bill...I might have subscribed to World of War Giraffes on his dime. I mean, I got a great deal and can you really put a price on being a 32nd level Giraffe Wizardlord with a wicked awesome tail staff?? Well apparently $79.95 is too much for Daddy to cough up...forget about the safety of my herd but whatever.

In any case, I am hounding Daddy to make sure he gets this done. Being delayed in Binghamton, NY and missing our connection in Philly, this is the perfect time to do some blogging on all the fun we've had the past couple of days!

We were staying in Johnson City, NY. We got in on Wednesday night, and while Daddy was hunting for some food, we crossed a river called Susquehanna. It didn't mean a whole lot to me, but I know the look on Daddy's face when the dots start to connect. Were we really only a few miles away from where the priesthood was restored and the site of Joseph Smith's baptism? Well, likes once he gets done on Thursday, Daddy and I are going exploring!

Here we are at the monument signifying the restoration of the Aaronic Priesthood in what was once Harmony, PA and is now Oakland. Being celestial creatures, giraffes are in no need of the saving ordinances of the priesthood, but for Daddy's sake how happy I am for this!

This says it's about 'great revelations' and a 'marvelous work' which are usually adjective used to describe me yet for some reason any mention of Lil' G was omitted from this record. Believe me, I will get to the bottom of this

If only we were here 181 years ago! I'm sure Sister Emma would have been absolutely enthralled with me. I mean, who isn't??

Signing the logbook. Lil' G was officially here representing Texas!

We got done earlier than expected, so we left Harmony and drove up to Palmyra, NY...Joseph Smith's childhood home and site of so many monuments Church history events. One of which was on the Hill Cumorah. Daddy told me this was "the golden plates lay hidden deep in the mountainside." What he neglected to tell me was that they're not there anymore. He could have informed of that tidbit before I started digging. Jerk.

We went to the shop where the first Book of Mormon was published. The first 5,000 copies, in fact. We got to practice folding the first 16 pages, but for some reason I was having trouble. Probably has to with the fact I'm a 4" giraffe.

With the help of the sister missionaries I was able to get it done! Thanks, Sisters! Oh, and they loved me, too...As if it's possible not to love this. If they could get online they would so be following my blog.

That's our plane out on the runway at Binghamton Regional Airport. Complete with a total of 2 gates and a table with this totally amazing contraption. Daddy was just getting fussy because he could see the plane yet couldn't get on it, but I could have stayed there all day with my new friends. Uh...Hello! There's more to life than missing a connection in Philly. Texas will always be there, but Jerry Giraffe, Simon Seal, Lawrence Lion, and Sallie Sheepie were only in my life for a few fleeting moments.

Act One...I Just Wanna be Apart of It!

2010-03-12T15:35:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Big Apple! Daddy was here officially on business...ewwwwwwwww. What fun is being in New York City if you're in meetings all day?!?! I'm gonna have to force him to have an adventure.

We touched down around 10:30 pm. I said I wanted an adventure, but didn't know it would start the instant we stepped out of the airport. The 30 min drive from La Guardia to the Marriott Marquis in Times Square included 2 mental breakdowns, a mouthy British lady in the GPS, Daddy yelling at the British lady who he referred to as 'Eunice,' four borderline swear words, and a single tear once we pulled into the hotel and the nice man in a black coat and hat took over the car. That's what Daddy gets for renting a car in Manhattan.

Anyway, even though it was almost midnight I talked Daddy into hitting the town. This is what I'm talking about!

Rockefeller Center. Turns out giraffes aint so great on skates. Daddy said it had to do with something called 'center of gravity' I think he was just trying to sound smart to impress this girl we were standing next to. Not quite sure how talking to a giraffe in your pocket might impress anyone.

It's Christmas Time in the City! It was so magical...but there was no snow, though. Auntie Ariana wouldn't be too thrilled.

This is how it should be. Word.
Can you imagine how intense a Lil' G fart would be on this scale? We're talkn' bio-hazard, people. Daddy said they would have to call in the National Guard. Now that's respect.

Shalom.

After being cooped up for a couple days while Daddy was in his meetings, we finally got to get out to the park before our flight home. I had always heard rumors the park could be dangerous.
Daddy! Put down the camera and help me! I'm too adorable to be snack food!

Ummmm...this is a little awkward.
So what? Just snuggling up with a couple love birds never hurt nobody...don't judge me!

Is it really time to leave?? :*( Very well, have Vincent pull the car around.
Next time Daddy promised not to work. Next time it's going to be adventures 24/7!!

Hey! You're in Huntsville!

2009-12-14T14:27:00.000-08:00

After Thanksgving we were off again, this time to Huntsville, Alabama. While we were headed out of the airport, we were encouraged to "Explore Huntsville" while we were here. Let's take a look at all the exciting adventures we went on!!

Well....

Turkey Week!

2009-12-14T12:20:00.000-08:00

Daddy and I took off an entire WEEK for Thanksgiving, and boy was it an adventure! We started out in Provo and then went up to Idaho and saw all kinds of family and friends!

For FHE, Richie said we should go to a place called 'Color Me Mine' so I decided to paint a hippo that reminded me of my cousin, Hefty.

I can't wait until I am reunited with Hefty at Christmas. Oh what a magical reunion twill it be!

After painting, some of Richie's friends came over to the hotel and played Mexican Train...I wanted to play on my own, but Daddy really wanted to be on my team. Result, we got schooled by 18 yr old kids...thanks Dad, you ruin everything.

I don't take loosing lightly...

Are you trying to eat me or make out? Either way, I'm frightened and disturbed.

Off to Idaho we go!!

We've arrived at Uncle Spencer and Aunt Ariana's house! Boy was it cold. Daddy said, 'it's a good thing you're not a real giraffe, Lil' G, cause they don't have a thick cloth exterior to keep them warm.' So I'm not a real giraffe!?! When did this happen??

Waaaay off in the distance you can see the Grand Tetons. So why I had to sit in the cold snow for a picture you can't really see is still a mystery to me.

Holy Mecca of Giraffes! I didn't even know the Annual 'We Might be Stuffed but We Still Feel - Giraffe Chapter' was in Ashton, ID! Oh believe me, I got the digits of many a sexy beast.

So after talkn to Jilly for like 30 minutes, I realized she wasn't a giraffe after all, but a baby human infiltrator! Get this freak of nature out of my sight before I start to cry.

We went to a place called Destinations Inn in Idaho Falls where every room is in a different theme, such as Egypt. I'm makn sure that if this mummy comes out for Daddy, I'll have the element of surprise on my side.

We've been waiting ALL morning for Santa! It's officially Christmas time!!

Bienvenidos a Mi-a-mi!

2009-09-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

Time for another adventure! This time Daddy and I are headed to Miami, FL!!

Daddy got a free upgrade to first class and they had these really fun chair controls. Apparently you're not supposed to mess with them before take off cause I kept getting Daddy in trouble. It was just so fun!

AHH!!! It was sooooooo humid in Miami. How am I supposed to get my mack on when my mane is crazier than Sallie Anderson on crack?

We didn't have a lot of time, so while Daddy was in his meetings I decided to head down to Miami Beach. I was horrified to see that non-humans weren't allowed! Heck with that! Daddy always said "Lil' G, you're a rebel without a cause." It was time to live up to that and throw caution and my mane to the wind.

Ah....this is the life.

All that sand and sun worked up my appetite. Dinner in Malibu and then lunch a week later in Miami Beach?? Uh, yes please.

The view from Daddy's hotel room. Oh Miami! If we but had more time...alas, it was not to be. Fare thee well.

LA-LA Land!

2009-08-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

Once I overheard Daddy saying he was going to Los Angeles, I decided there was no way I was missing out on that mess. He caught me trying to stow-away in his luggage. I should have known he wouldn't forget me...

The first day Daddy left me back at the hotel room while he was in his meetings. Let's just say I got really really really bored. I might have even tried eating the decorative plants...we've all done things we later regret.

Daddy promised the next day would be better, so he took me to work. How is it possible I could be even more bored?? What the heck are we doing here?? Let's go on an adventure!!

Off we go!! First stop, Hermosa Beach.

Do you know how much effort it takes to bury a giraffe up to his head in the sand?? Not as much as you might think when you're as small and adorable as me!

I had so much fun in the sand!! Let's start digging!

Look at my own little tunnel! I wanted to stay even longer and build a castle, but Daddy was getting hungry and we all know how fussy he can be when he's hungry... Next stop, Hollywood!

You can't really tell, but this is me doing my best Marilyn Monroe impression. I kept looking for Geoffrey the Giraffe's star but couldn't find it. :(

Here I am sneaking up on Samuel L. Jackson.

You should've heard the words that came out of his mouth when I whispered 'hey big boy' into his ear. I had to ask what some of them meant and then Daddy had to ask a black person what they meant.

One day...I'm gonna be a star and I'll be in that theatre! Not out here sitting on a taxi.

When I presented this award, Daddy's chin started to quiver and his eyes watered up. He turned away wiping his eyes, blaming the hookah bar next door, but I know it wasn't the hippies and their semi-illegal contraband that caused him to tear up.

I love you!

Heck Yes...I'm headed to Vegas!!!

2009-07-28T10:24:00.001-07:00

Daddy told me that because he loves me soooo much, we would go away for the weekend. Just the two of us....and everyone else that he was going to visit. But still, it was just the two of us on the way there. Look at all the fun we had!!

Lil' G is: G-L-A-M...-O-R-O-U-S, yeah

Riding First Class is a Blast!!

Uhh oh...you best watch yo'self, foo.

Is this what the world is going to look like when I grow up?

We stopped at my favorite frozen custard place of all-time, Luv-It.

How do I get this goodness in me?!?!?!?

Hello large amphibian, I'm Lil' G and I'm on your head.

Ugh, my tag is hanging out there for the world to see...how embarrassing

I told Daddy one day he needs to take me to the real Paris, but then he got all up in a huff-puff about socialism and the lazy, good-for-nothing, spineless French and their universal veterinarian care....but then I mentioned pastries and his eyes glossed over and began to drool. So we'll see...

I'm ready for a night out on the town. Holla!

Did I have fun in Vegas? Uh, does a giraffe poop in the jungle?

My COW

2009-07-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

My second year of EFY has come and gone, and boy oh boy was it a doozie. The trauma of being stolen away from Daddy again and again was almost too much to bare. And to think of all the times I sat back and mocked Melvin knowing full well where he was...oh the irony...the bitter, bitter irony!

But with the bitter comes the sweet...yes the sweet, sweet milk of victory. For the love of my life, or at least the week, Gabriela and I were finally united. We talked into the wee hours of the morning and she opened up with her fears that she would be abandoned to obscurity by not only Troy and his helmet hair, but also of her mother. At least I had a daddy who was always looking, praying, and possibly even fasting that one day we might be reunited. Alas, but not poor Gabriela. You're probably at the bottom of a box somewhere, but dear beautiful COW of mine, I will never forget you!

EFY!!!

2009-06-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Daddy?... Is that you??

I love plane rides! I get to soar above the clouds!

Rodeo!

2009-06-27T05:31:00.000-07:00

We went to the rodeo! It rained a lot but it was still fun! I'm glad they don't do that stuff to me!
This nice girl held me up high so I could get a picture with the Stars and Stripes!

Africa!

2009-06-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

Are you my daddy?
Daddy help me!! Where Are you??

New Adventures!

2009-06-25T20:47:00.000-07:00

I was going to take a plane... But then I realized that I could take the U.S. Postal system for a lot cheaper!
Here I am after a long ride!

Here I am updating my blog! I love my adventures!

A nice lady stopped and let met play with her daughter! She was so much fun!My friends let me be the Navigator... Here we are arriving at Trinity University in San Antonio! I can't wait to find my daddy!

Along the way we found a strawberry patch!
...And a cherry tree! Fresh cherries are the best! YUM!

Road Trip!

2009-06-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

I love road trips! They're so much fun!

It felt great to get the wind in my hair as I was traveling with some friends!

We stopped by a favorite frozen custard place of mine. Boy, was that yummy!

We even got to travel to Paris (Texas) and see our very own version of the Eiffel Tower.

No sign of Dad yet, but I did find a street sign named after Lil me!

Don't worry Dad! I'll find you soon!

My Water Park Adventure

2009-06-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

Since Harvey didn't want to take me to the water park, I had to go have some fun without him. And boy did I have fun! Take a look at all the adventures I had...

Here I am getting ready to head to park!

There were some very attractive lifeguards...and I could lift that red floaty with one hand!

Weeeeee....down the slide I go!

Watch out you little HB's I'm gonna get ya!

What a relaxing evening after EFY

All this play made me thirsty..and look, my size water fountain!

My turn as the lifeguard

Are you my daddy?

I don't think so....too much hair.

Floating down the lazy river with the ladies...

Are you my daddy?

No...too skinny

Until the next adventure...

-Lil G