Rocking Out! \oo/

All aboard!! Well...actually not so much. We ended up missing our train to the AAC so we sat waiting...and waiting...and waiting on this platform. All I'm saying is it's a good thing Melinda was there to hold a conversation. I would have gone batty trying to find something to talk to Dad about.

"soooooo...you're a giraffe....how's that working out for you?"

"well, alright i guess. i mean the demands of being the superior species of the planet can become draining at times, but they don't call me lil' g for nothing."

"i thought you were named after an african american cafeteria worker at UNT"

"So?"

and then I stare him down until he yields. Lil' G: 1345 Daddy:9

We missed Sick Puppies and most of Shinedown due to Dad's poor judgment in the timing of the Dallas light rail system, but we finally arrived in time to see one of Dad's favorite bands: Breaking Benjamin. I must admit I quite enjoyed their set. And while I think I still prefer the witty repartee and general booty bouncing beat of Abba, I have to give props to Dad for his choice in music...Daddy, you're up to ten points!!

After Breaking Benjamin we went out, walked around the AAC a bit, and found this great little display of Texas greatness. Daddy was like, "Lil' G, get over there and let me take a picture" and I was all, "you're going to try and make it look like I'm a giraffe with longhorns." Dad insisted "No! I would never demean you so! Don't you love Texas?!?"

The result: poor attempt at humor at the expense of a small giraffe and the remains of a once noble beast of the field.

Look how happy I am with the Moff! This was taken before we watched the headlining band, Nickleback, and were tainted by the never-ending barrage of F-bombs. At one point, Dad had to cover my cute little adorable ears. Maybe someone like Chet would have found this display of profanity funny and entertaining, however someone with my level of refinement and innocence simply found it reviling and pathetic.

It's Peanut Butter Time!!

Daddy volunteered to drive down to Houston to help with a service assignment at the LDS Peanut Butter Cannery. What a worthwhile adventure this will be! We visited his sister's family, but the jerk forgot me in the car so I didn't get to play with all his adorable nieces and nephews...

In any case, let's get this party started!

We made a little detour to see the Houston LDS Temple. Daddy was like 'Wow, I don't remember the trees being this big from when I was here to take out my endowment.' Ummm...Daddy, that was like nine years ago. PS, you're old.

Yay! here we are.

Lil G here and ready to serve!!

Holy Geoffry the Giraffe, look at all these peanuts!! Daddy made some comment about how he would like to swimming in a pool full of roasted peanuts or something. I don't know for sure, I was too disturbed to pay attention.

Another dozen jars of peanut butter ready to go. I got in trouble for riding down this amazing contraption, but it was just too fun to resist.

" Hey! Get Back to WORK!"

Oh snap, look how scared Seth looks! I'm a hoss!

Last of the five pallets we did. 4,000 jars of peanut butter ready to go!

While Daddy was working in the cannery, I decided to go next door. I tried to find a wife for Daddy, but apparently they don't help in that area...Oh well, the trip was still a success!!

Act Three: Back in the Big Apple

It only took about 6 weeks, but Daddy finally is updating my blog!

Ahhhhh....back in New York City! This time with Grandma, Uncle Richie and Aunt Kati. We're going to have so many adventures!!

The night before Aunt Kati arrived, we decided to try out some cheesecake. Daddy wasn't expecting too much, but once he saw that someone managed to combine his beloved carrot cake with cheesecake, he was intrigued. When the waiter arrived with this little slice of the Celestial Kingdom, he totally zoned out. I'm not lying when I say I literally had seconds to take this picture before the carnage began. The poor dessert never stood a chance.

The next morning, while Uncle Richie was busy with his showcase, Grandma and I went up to the Museum of Natural History. I stood in awe of the power of this once majestic beast. If only I could have such a presence! Daddy saw the longing in my eyes and told me not to worry, 'One day, you'll have your day in the sun, Lil' G. No one will be able to ignore or dismiss you. You will grow to command respect, I promise.' With that, he stuffed me back into his pocket.

Daddy, don't be scurred!! I've tusseled with these guys before. They look big and threating but they're just big marshmellows. Daddy, focus! They're not really marshmellows...

Oh snap! I thought they were exaggerating about the rodents lurking in the darkness of the NY subways. Run Daddy, I'll cut this fool.

You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the Flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow!

YOU...SHALL NOT...PASS!

Finally Aunt Kati arrived, and along with her came...competition. Lo and behold, another small animal pops out of her purse. But this isn't just any other pocket-sized stuffed animal, it's Kermit-the freakn-Frog. How am I supposed to compete with a celebrity?? Here I am, just trying to enjoy a massive sundae with all manner of delicious fruits and treats, and once the camera comes out, Kermit just has to get in the shot. Seriously? What is it about Hollywood schmucks and their constant need for attention?? I'm so gonna cut this fool.

We get back to the hotel room and Kermit grabs the remote to turn on the TV. Muppets In Space marathon or some crap like that is probably on that he just can't miss....Turns out he flips over to ESPN to watch the Spurs post-game report.

The San Antonio Spurs have made friends out of adversaries. The miracles they work never cease to amaze me. Who would have thought I would find a brother in a large, green, amphibian?

Greatest...Picture...EVER.

Daddy and I love Central Park. He was such a trooper, walking all 51 blocks north to south. Everything was so beautiful! Just look at all this amazing appetizing foliage!

These are my peeps. I tried to get Daddy to buy me a big brother or sister, but he said they wouldn't fit in the carry-on compartment on the plane. I should have known he looks at giraffes simply as 'things' to stuff into things. I'm so disgusted with this right now.

I'll have to make sure to get this on the agenda at next year's convention for 'We May be Stuffed, But We Still Feel - Giraffe Chapter.'

Oh yeah, work it! You're a proud black Barbie doll, show me some of that attitude!

Not many people know this, but the best way to take down a Lego-Wookie is to go straight for the jugular.

I'm recognizing a trend here. Food..save Daddy from some foe...more food...another foe...more food...it's a vicious cycle.

One of the three shows we saw. I'm so tired of being in the audience. I belong on that stage!!

Lady Liberty. I was a little worried that after she went on her little stroll through NYC in the 1989 film, Ghostbusters II, that she would take her new found freedom and go on a country-wide tour/rampage. However, I believe she understands liberty implies a sense of responsibility and as such returned to her pedestal.

Ellis Island, where millions of would-be Americans came into this country. Daddy went off on a tangent of how we have lost touch with the spirit of legal immigration, blah blah blah...oh my, this shrub is delectable!

CHET! You're The Bain of My Existence!

I have been violated.

My innocence and virtue has been dragged through the mud like a bloated filthy hippopotamus (no offense, Hefty) once again by my alter, and oh so much less adorable, ego, Chet. Long have you haunted my dreams. Apparently restraining orders do not apply to online activities. I will have to see Judge Juda about that.

Instead of the abhorrent and illicit activities I 'allegedly' participated in during Easter weekend, I instead spent the holiest of holidays watching Conference with Daddy, reflecting on the sacrifice of the Savior of all creations and His triumph over death....and enjoying the droppings of the Easter Bunny.


Daddy said this is a nest just like he used to get from the Easter Bunny when he was just a lad. How I love Daddy and how I love my distant cousin, the Easter Bunny, and how I loath that foul cretin, Chet.

As Geoffrey the Giraffe as my witness, you will rue the day you messed with me and my blog. Rue it!

Hop till you drop...

Guess what I did this Easter Weekend?

I had an adventure, very possibly the most interesting one yet!

I went to the Pool, and had a lot of fun. Wild and Crazy Kids had NOTHING on this!

These two chicas were watching me... almost as much as I was watching them!

Since I didn't score with those two hotties, I decided I need to pump some iron.

Here's me trying to get swoll!

I thought posing provocatively under this sign would tell people I could help them with mouth to mouth, but Daddy said it's for a fibalator. I thought he was just cussing again. Apparently it's to help people or something, lame.

Finally, a girl noticed me! Becky and I hit it off REAL quick. She was pretty enough that I considered lowering my standards for a bit. I was hoping Daddy wouldn't find me enjoying art, grapes, and some fine Franzia with this incredible waitress.

He did. He took me to this sign, and talked to me about the perils of cocktail waitresses.

Again, more cussing.

He took me out back to breathe, while making jokes about operating heavy machinery while inebriated. The most embarrassing part is that I hurled exactly 6 seconds after this photo was taken. Good thing Becky wasn't watching.

I tried to stop by my dealer, but Daddy said any place you have to knock in a certain way and ask for Javier was probably sketchy.

He's obviously an amateur.

Happy Easter!

Act Two...Upstate and In Your Face!

Well it took Daddy months to get our NYC trip up. I would have done it, but he saw his credit card bill...I might have subscribed to World of War Giraffes on his dime. I mean, I got a great deal and can you really put a price on being a 32nd level Giraffe Wizardlord with a wicked awesome tail staff?? Well apparently $79.95 is too much for Daddy to cough up...forget about the safety of my herd but whatever.

In any case, I am hounding Daddy to make sure he gets this done. Being delayed in Binghamton, NY and missing our connection in Philly, this is the perfect time to do some blogging on all the fun we've had the past couple of days!

We were staying in Johnson City, NY. We got in on Wednesday night, and while Daddy was hunting for some food, we crossed a river called Susquehanna. It didn't mean a whole lot to me, but I know the look on Daddy's face when the dots start to connect. Were we really only a few miles away from where the priesthood was restored and the site of Joseph Smith's baptism? Well, likes once he gets done on Thursday, Daddy and I are going exploring!

Here we are at the monument signifying the restoration of the Aaronic Priesthood in what was once Harmony, PA and is now Oakland. Being celestial creatures, giraffes are in no need of the saving ordinances of the priesthood, but for Daddy's sake how happy I am for this!

This says it's about 'great revelations' and a 'marvelous work' which are usually adjective used to describe me yet for some reason any mention of Lil' G was omitted from this record. Believe me, I will get to the bottom of this

If only we were here 181 years ago! I'm sure Sister Emma would have been absolutely enthralled with me. I mean, who isn't??

Signing the logbook. Lil' G was officially here representing Texas!

We got done earlier than expected, so we left Harmony and drove up to Palmyra, NY...Joseph Smith's childhood home and site of so many monuments Church history events. One of which was on the Hill Cumorah. Daddy told me this was "the golden plates lay hidden deep in the mountainside." What he neglected to tell me was that they're not there anymore. He could have informed of that tidbit before I started digging. Jerk.

We went to the shop where the first Book of Mormon was published. The first 5,000 copies, in fact. We got to practice folding the first 16 pages, but for some reason I was having trouble. Probably has to with the fact I'm a 4" giraffe.

With the help of the sister missionaries I was able to get it done! Thanks, Sisters! Oh, and they loved me, too...As if it's possible not to love this. If they could get online they would so be following my blog.

That's our plane out on the runway at Binghamton Regional Airport. Complete with a total of 2 gates and a table with this totally amazing contraption. Daddy was just getting fussy because he could see the plane yet couldn't get on it, but I could have stayed there all day with my new friends. Uh...Hello! There's more to life than missing a connection in Philly. Texas will always be there, but Jerry Giraffe, Simon Seal, Lawrence Lion, and Sallie Sheepie were only in my life for a few fleeting moments.

Act One...I Just Wanna be Apart of It!

Welcome to the Big Apple! Daddy was here officially on business...ewwwwwwwww. What fun is being in New York City if you're in meetings all day?!?! I'm gonna have to force him to have an adventure.

We touched down around 10:30 pm. I said I wanted an adventure, but didn't know it would start the instant we stepped out of the airport. The 30 min drive from La Guardia to the Marriott Marquis in Times Square included 2 mental breakdowns, a mouthy British lady in the GPS, Daddy yelling at the British lady who he referred to as 'Eunice,' four borderline swear words, and a single tear once we pulled into the hotel and the nice man in a black coat and hat took over the car. That's what Daddy gets for renting a car in Manhattan.

Anyway, even though it was almost midnight I talked Daddy into hitting the town. This is what I'm talking about!

Rockefeller Center. Turns out giraffes aint so great on skates. Daddy said it had to do with something called 'center of gravity' I think he was just trying to sound smart to impress this girl we were standing next to. Not quite sure how talking to a giraffe in your pocket might impress anyone.

It's Christmas Time in the City! It was so magical...but there was no snow, though. Auntie Ariana wouldn't be too thrilled.

This is how it should be. Word.
Can you imagine how intense a Lil' G fart would be on this scale? We're talkn' bio-hazard, people. Daddy said they would have to call in the National Guard. Now that's respect.

Shalom.

After being cooped up for a couple days while Daddy was in his meetings, we finally got to get out to the park before our flight home. I had always heard rumors the park could be dangerous.
Daddy! Put down the camera and help me! I'm too adorable to be snack food!

Ummmm...this is a little awkward.
So what? Just snuggling up with a couple love birds never hurt nobody...don't judge me!

Is it really time to leave?? :*( Very well, have Vincent pull the car around.
Next time Daddy promised not to work. Next time it's going to be adventures 24/7!!