CHET! You're The Bain of My Existence!

I have been violated.

My innocence and virtue has been dragged through the mud like a bloated filthy hippopotamus (no offense, Hefty) once again by my alter, and oh so much less adorable, ego, Chet. Long have you haunted my dreams. Apparently restraining orders do not apply to online activities. I will have to see Judge Juda about that.

Instead of the abhorrent and illicit activities I 'allegedly' participated in during Easter weekend, I instead spent the holiest of holidays watching Conference with Daddy, reflecting on the sacrifice of the Savior of all creations and His triumph over death....and enjoying the droppings of the Easter Bunny.


Daddy said this is a nest just like he used to get from the Easter Bunny when he was just a lad. How I love Daddy and how I love my distant cousin, the Easter Bunny, and how I loath that foul cretin, Chet.

As Geoffrey the Giraffe as my witness, you will rue the day you messed with me and my blog. Rue it!

Hop till you drop...

Guess what I did this Easter Weekend?

I had an adventure, very possibly the most interesting one yet!

I went to the Pool, and had a lot of fun. Wild and Crazy Kids had NOTHING on this!

These two chicas were watching me... almost as much as I was watching them!

Since I didn't score with those two hotties, I decided I need to pump some iron.

Here's me trying to get swoll!

I thought posing provocatively under this sign would tell people I could help them with mouth to mouth, but Daddy said it's for a fibalator. I thought he was just cussing again. Apparently it's to help people or something, lame.

Finally, a girl noticed me! Becky and I hit it off REAL quick. She was pretty enough that I considered lowering my standards for a bit. I was hoping Daddy wouldn't find me enjoying art, grapes, and some fine Franzia with this incredible waitress.

He did. He took me to this sign, and talked to me about the perils of cocktail waitresses.

Again, more cussing.

He took me out back to breathe, while making jokes about operating heavy machinery while inebriated. The most embarrassing part is that I hurled exactly 6 seconds after this photo was taken. Good thing Becky wasn't watching.

I tried to stop by my dealer, but Daddy said any place you have to knock in a certain way and ask for Javier was probably sketchy.

He's obviously an amateur.

Happy Easter!