Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Hangn' in San Fran

Only in San Francisco do they leave Ghiradelli chocolates on your pillow. Dad made some comment under his breath about how much he would love to sleep smothered in Ghiradelli. I'm...ahhh...just gonna chalk that up to a looong traveling day.

The weather is perfect! Dad wanted to go sunning, but I talked him out of it. You can all thanks me later. Let's go on an adventure!!

First stop: Alcatraz Island for the night tour...

Craziest thing happened when we were in the shower room...Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery came up through the floor in quite the dramatic fashion! And they said 'hey' to Dad, who returned with a casual salute while they were off to hunt down a terrorist. Greatest...thing...ever!!

NooooOOOoooobody knows...the trouble I've seen.
NoooooOOOOooobody knows my sorrows

How did I know that Dad would somehow find his way to the cafeteria?

San Francisco is so romantic. Oh how I wish it was Ginger here with me instead of Dad. He won't even let me snuggle.

Umm...why don't we rig up a pulley system?

I ask Dad: So what's the big deal about clam chowder in a bread bowl? Does it add extra flavor or something?
Dad: Well, Lil' G, you eat the chowder and then you can eat the chowder-soaked bread after. Brings a whole new meaning to scrapping the side of the bowl.
Me: It brings a whole new meaning to "disturbing."

What would a trip to SF be without a run-in with a hippie? We met Angie, the hippie, and spoke with her on the atrocity of corporate deforestation in Thailand and what Greenpeace is doing to stop them. After Dad gave a donation he asked if it was cool to get a picture with his giraffe. You would think a hippie would be all about giraffes, so what's with the pinching and the distance like I'm some smelly rag?

So as acting president of the We May Be Stuffed But We Still Feel - Giraffe Chapter, I met with the White House when I was in Washington, D.C. last August. However, this Administration has not honored a single point on my agenda. Maybe Queen Amidala of the Naboo will be more amenable.

Daddy!?!? Why would they bury these giraffes up to their horns??? What hippie group do I need to speak with to ensure this never happens again?

It's Christmas Time in the City!

Oooooooooo, New York City! I'm back, baby! And Dad thinks he's some kind of big shot since there was a chocolate on his pillow. Could it be that my personal assistant informed the hotel Lil' G was on his way? I'll let you be the judge.

Dad was so tuckered out, I decided to start working on his emails. After all, the sooner he gets done with work stuff, the sooner we can go on adventures!

On our way to his first meeting, we decide to get lunch. Now, what could be behind this curtain in a swanky Midtown French hotel....?

.....Oh snap, only some of the best burgers in Manhattan.
Carol the cow, this one's for you!

It seems like just last year I was standing at Rockefeller Center's ice skating rink with it's iconic Christmas tree. Oh wait, it was last year.
Take a look at that hoser in the red hoodie. He's soooo gonna get a face full of ice when I get down there and totally own a wicked triple sow cow.

Dad was acting like a big deal once he started getting access to the concierge lounge. Little does he know, but I'm kind of a regular in this joint.
--Excuse me, Winston?
--Oh greetings to you, Mr. G. How's the asparagus tonight?
--Succulent as always, Winston. How's your sweet wife doing?
--Just wonderful. We're expecting our third.
--Marvelous! Simply Marvelous! I noticed there were none of those tasty lemon squares out tonight. Could you possibly scrounge some up?
--Those are usually only on Monday and Thursday evenings, but I'll so see if I can grab a couple. How many would you like, two?
--Better make it three! Ah-har-har-har...
(this was an actual conversation between someone and a Marriott employee)

Forget about lemon squares, get me a piece of Junior's NY cheesecake. Back off, Dad...grrrrrrr...this is all mine, old man.

It was sooooo cold in NY. Dad stopped in Macy's to get a scarf. Ummm...thanks for thinking of me, the African Serengeti is only my natural habitat. Oh, and now I'm being pulled out of your toasty pocket for yet another freezing picture. Fantastic.

So I kind of snapped at Dad saying how he cared more about this blog than my own personal health and well-being. He responded about something like it requires nerves and a heart to feel the cold...we both said hurtful things. We call a truce and split a s'more and hot cocoa at this little place down by NYU that serves chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate. Uncle Richie better steer clear of this little piece of heaven. Ah...har...har...har.....

We had to get back up to Times Sq in order to get tickets to a show. Instead of walking, we decide to take the warmish, urine-stinking, freak-filled subway. Seriously, these guys are more disturbing than them hippos doing ballet in Fantasia. It's just not natural.

Waiting in the TKTS line for tickets to Jersey Boys.
--Hey Dad, why do I need to be standing in 19 degree weather? I can see our hotel from here, can't I just go up to the room?
--No way, you're just gonna get into the maid's cart again.

Sigh....the last thing we do in NYC is see the incredible Jersey Boys. When is the next time we're going to be back?? It's not soon enough...

Chilly Charlotte was about 14 degrees in Charlotte during our visit back in December. Normally I'm all about getting out and going on adventures, but really...we're in Charlotte and it's 14 degrees. I'm perfectly fine with a fire in the fireplace and a bit of Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. Dad even tucked me in!

Again with the Utahness?

Holy cow, (I promised Carol I would throw in a shout out to her in my next blog post) we're back in Utah! Oh wait, it involves Uncle Richie? Okay, that makes sense. Well Aunt Kati and I (oh Dad was there, too) were in the Beehive State -- which, btw, is blatant favoritism to a stinkn' insect. The We May Be Stuffed But We Still Feel: Giraffe Chapter will hear about this -- all of about 24 hrs. So what can do for a few hours? Let's hit the slopes in Park City!!

Ooooo....we're almost to the ski lift! It's a well documented fact that giraffes are natural skiers, what with our unparalleled equilibrium and our sensitivity to the Earth's magnetic field, but apparently it doesn't run in the family cause dad didn't want any part of it. Fine, we'll just walk up and down Main Street like a bunch of losers.

So Dad didn't want to "show off his major snowboarding skills" but when someone brought up hot cocoa, he was more giddy than a gorilla in heat.

Eat more chicken! Seriously, this vaca aint messin around! For the love of all that is green and good in this world... eat more chicken!!!

Hey,'s Marty the Moose's hippie cousin, Moonshine. Um...Moonshine, when was the last time someone changed your poncho, cause girl you be stanky.

For all those who couldn't see Uncle Richie star as Romeo in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, here's what you missed. Spoiler Alert: They both die.

Richie, Richie, wherefore art thou, Richie? Seriously, where are you? It's like midnight and we're still at BYU and dad is hogging the soft bench. I asked why I couldn't share it and he said a grown man sleeping with a stuffed animal was not socially acceptable. OH? and keeping one in your pocket and blogging about it is?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

No Way, San Jose!

San Jose, the capital of Silicon Valley. There's gotta be lots of fun adventures to be had here!

The view from Dad's hotel in downtown San Jose. Look! It's Christmas time in California. Dad said they don't celebrate it here but once again he's just wrong.

I see London, I see France, I see the Nutcracker's butt crack. Seriously, there are children present. Modest is hottest, Mr. Nutcracker.

We spent all evening at the Tech Museum. Here I spelled out my name using binary code! 01000111=G

And here you write on a screen with your finger....

And then it's doctored up to look all fabulous and thrown up on the screen for everyone to see!'s like it can read my mind!

Am I looking out a window at downtown San Antonio? NOPE! I'm on the 270 degree Google Earth exhibit. Now let's fly to NYC!

It t'was so pretty!

O..M...Lil G...There are few things in this world that are more adorable than me. Little puppy dogs dressed up in Christmas costumes and girl scouts singing in a park are, unfortunately, at the top of the adorable list. I hate being out-cuteified.

These were $5 a bottle and someone seriously just downed like twenty bucks worth. I'm so confused as to why someone would throw away an Andrew Jackson when there's free bottle water up the the concierge lounge....

Cleveland Rocks...I guess

Whew! I'm almost all caught up on my blog! Next stop, Cleveland!

Just east of Cleveland was the small village of Kirtland. Boy, were the trees pretty!

Dad left me to be the navigator, but I ended up getting the high score on Bejewelled Blitz instead of keeping up the GPS on his phone. He was a little miffed, but look at all those tasty trees!

We finally made it to Kirtland! Dad didn't let me munch any on the foliage so I'm famished. Let's stop in this little general store and see if they have anything worth my time.

So it turns out the general store was more of a museum then an actual store. No worries, Texas Roadhouse to the rescue! Dad had to explain to the waitress for about 5 minutes of the importance of pickles and onions in connection with pulled pork BBQ. It's not entirely as good as Texas, but with some p&o it's closer...

Just a short stroll from Dad's hotel is the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. I already had the mohawk so I was pretty much set.

Awww...I love my dad! He doesn't let me snuggle with him 'cause he says that's just weird so I'll get some Harvey time from this sign.

Flip, Flip, Flip-adelphia!

On the road, again. This time...Philadelphia!

DFW Airport...yet again. We were just sitting there, minding our own business, when this Army guy comes up with his dog. Dad, ever biased toward cute dogs, was excited. I, however, am still fighting the ghosts of my past. And with Chet out there doing who-knows-what in my name, I was naturally a little nervous. Dad told me to come out of his luggage and take a look. As soon as I got out, Scruffy here got all kinds of excited. Whether he thought I was my evil-twin Chet in need of justice or a chew toy, it didn't matter...I started to squirm and whimper until Dad tucked me safely away.

The actual Liberty Bell! If you line up the crack with the third pane of glass from the left during the Winter Solstice, I'm told a shadow will be cast that opens a door which leads Ben Franklin's secret stash of BBQ turkey legs.

Hey! What's up with all the white guys? Where's the giraffe delegation??

Getting in line to go inside Independence Hall. Indeed.

The courtroom side of Independence Hall. Our tour guide is holding a royal seal that hung above the judge's stand prior to July, 1776. The story is that when the people heard the Declaration of Independence read in the courtyard, they ran inside and with Patriotic zeal tore down all symbols of Great Britain, dragged them through the streets, and then set them ablaze. Proving the notion that Philadelphia fans haven't changed at all in the last two centuries.

The chair at the front of the room was the actual one George Washington sat in as President of the Constitutional Convention! Dad almost threw me up there so I could touch it, but our tour guide had a pony-tail and we all know that he's leery of men with ponytails.

The location of one of Daddy's favorite moments of musical motion pictures. Anyone who has seen the musical 1776 should recognize this and instantly giggle as the image comes to mind of Franklin, Livingston, and Sherman do a high-kick routine down these steps singing 'Combustibility! Combustibility! Com-busta-bil-it' and then John Adams screams 'QUIET!!' Classic.
For those who have no idea what I'm talking about...
Oh yeah, this was also the building where some of the leading minds of the 18th Century put together this crazy idea of freedom, limited government, and individual responsibility. But while I'm still waiting for the Giraffe Civil Rights Amendment I drafted during my tenure as President of We May Be Stuffed But We Still Feel - Giraffe Chapter...I have hope in America.