Take Me Out on a Date, err to the Ballgame!!

I think I found her. Her name is Ginger and we met while at the Fort Worth Zoo a few weeks ago. Well Daddy got tickets to the Rangers/Red Sox game and I figured it was the perfect chance to get to know her better. This is uncharted territory for me. What an adventure I'm about to have!

MMMmmmmm....we got the tickets which included the all-you-can-eat package. I'll give you one guess as to who was in charge of buying the tickets...

It was so hot! I mean, it was hotter than a hippo's backside in the dry season. Combine that with a capacity crowd and not the slightest breeze in the tri-county area, it was hot. Did I say it was hot? Second hottest Rangers game in history, actually. That being said, you couldn't separate Ginger and me.

Something interesting I found out about Ginger. She's afraid of heights. A giraffe...who's afraid of heights....it's time to face this fear. Hold my hoof, Ginger...it'll be alright.

Truth be told, the reason I wanted her to conquer her phobia was so we could watch the sunset without the fear of her throwing up or fainting. Thank goodness she got over it fast 'cause we're adorable together!

Daddy said "oh, this is apparently where I belong." I was confused....Dad doesn't smoke so I looked at the sign, then back at him then back at the sign then back at him...."um Dad, this is an area for smokers, not smoking hot people. In either case you don't belong here" Then I slapped him so he would equate stupid statements with pain. Oooo look a big baseball!

Freshly off her fear of heights, Ginger wants to slide down the banister back to our seats but still wanted me to go first. She caught up pretty quick and kept screaming 'Faster! Faster!' "Excuse me, I'm sliding here. You better check yo'self before you wreck yo'self!"

After our little jaunt to the upper-level, I was quite peckish, so I decided to head to the watering hole. It was hot and just having a cold (and I might add, free) beverage to hold made all the difference in the world. Ginger disapproved, though.
"Isn't that your third diet coke tonight, Lil' G??"
"Don't tell me my business, devil woman."
I don't know if it was my little outburst or the fact that small giraffes were being served that totally confused Tyrone there in the background. It didn't get any better when Dad tried to explain:
"What's that??"
"His name is Lil' G."
blank, confused look
"I take him around and take pictures."
blank, confused look
"He has a blog...."
Then he turned around with a look on his face of Dang, white people be crazy

That's why I love my Dad!

New Post, Coast 2 Coast!

In June, Daddy was in San Francisco and then Maine...in the same week. Coast to coast, baby...let's do this!

First stop, Oakland California LDS Temple. Here I am with my friends Willie, Billy, and Bud discussing the inscribed scripture verse. Willie asked me, "Lil' G...why doesn't Jesus mention giraffes?" to which I responded, "Sweet Willie, He did."

"He did?"

"Oh yes, child. The words which were spoken were too scared, too holy, and too sanctified, however, for any written language. In fact, He made giraffes so tall just so we could be that much closer to Him"

"Oh....I thought He made your long necks 'cause He had a sense of humor"

Checked into the hotel and out on the town...but Dad forgot his camera so he had to use his phone. What kind of professional operation are we running here?



Got my trolley ticket! I'm so EXCITED...let's go on an adventure!!


The first cable car was tested on Nob Hill in 1873 and public service began that same year. To think of all the people who have held this handle over the past several decades makes me...kinda sick. The lady beneath me kept glancing up with a worried look on her face. I wanted to say, "hey hippie, I'm not a filthy pigeon I'm a stuffed giraffe. The only droppings you need to concern yourself with is if I spontaneously bust a seam." Daddy said she just thought I was adorable, but he didn't see the look of fear/disgust in her eyes.



The icky hand holding thingy and the judgemental look of that human made me decide to look for a better spot, and we somehow scored a seat at the very front. It was almost like a roller coaster!

I just couldn't sit still....So I got up and went to the back to chill with Lenny. After a ton of expert schmoozing and persuading and reasoning, Lenny finally relented and let me drive! Is 'drive' the right word, Lil' G? Don't question me, I'm the engineer!

My masterful conductor skills brought us successfully to our destination...Fisherman's Wharf. Um...Dad, would you kindly remove your thumb from my crotch?

I'm ordering from the "Little Fisherman's Menu" cause I'm so adorable!! BTW, hidden in that back there in the mist is the Golden Gate Bridge.

The view from the hotel looking down on Union Square. Is that a Cheesecake Factory down there? That would explain the drooling coming from Daddy.

Boy, oh boy, was the West Coast fun! But now it's off to Maine!!

When we got into Portland, Daddy was surprised to see the rental "car" Avis gave him wasn't a car at all, but a minivan. And not just any minivan...it was the exact same kind he always got as the EFY cruiser. The whole drive from Portland to Freeport, where we were staying, he was on the verge of tears as he went through memory after memory from the days of yore. Nina sitting shotgun looking through the session binder, the BCs sitting in the back bickering like any good family, flying through Trinty cause they had to be at the Laurie 10 min ago and praying the violent jolts were speed bumps and not youth, hauling dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of pizzas over to Prassel, and Mark Bishop refusing to move a muscle until the doors were opened remotely. To make it worse, that day was the day Dad was supposed to go with Sallie and Garrett to crash the Denton session.

Needless to say, Dad was a mess and only wanted to be alone with his hot cocoa and I had the keys...

Time for an adventure!!

Ok...so I have to give Dad some credit. Despite his emotional state, he still saw right though my 'hey buddy, you want me to get you another cup of hot cocoa? I'll just go down to the lobby and be right back...' ploy. Fine. I don't need a EFY cruiser van to have fun when I score a sweet ride like Marty the Moose. I fit perfectly into his huge antlers. Onward, Marty...onward to fame and glory!

Maine was so awesome...not as in the California/Mormon use of the word, but in the 'full of awe' kind of context. The fact that it was downright chilly while Texas was baking didn't hurt, but everything was so quaint and serene. Ahhhh.....this grass smells delicious.

Just reading in the park...move along people...nothing to see her'!

This is an adorable little main street...almost as adorable as me!

Holy shnickies! What weirdo keeps a 3 foot wizard in their window? On second thought, what kind of weirdo keeps a blog about a tiny giraffe?

Trying to find my way back to the hotel room. Marty said he knew the way but I know we never crossed this bridge before. Marty was starting to get on my nerves, to be honest...acting like a big know-it-all. Are all moosen this arrogant and stubborn? He was all I go this way all the time. You're telling me you maneuvered them big ole antlers down this narrow bridge without gettn them stuck in the cable?!? Ugh, just get me back to my dad.

O...M...G...Marty needed to go, but with my little adorable legs it would've taken me forever to make it back so I was pretty much stuck. However, don't think for a moment when I saw this sign I wasn't wishing for a Mack truck to barrel down the road and take out a particularly annoying moose out of the picture. I'm sure I could kick in the charm and hitchhike with said truck driver/great deliverer back to Freeport.

So once we got close I gave Dad a call and let him know we're almost back to town. He said to meet at the L.L. Bean flagship store located there Freeport. When I told Marty to head that way, he insisted he would drop me off a block away since that happened to be the night the moose hunting license raffle was going on. Did the stars suddenly align? I almost teared up as I recognized this as one of those special 'tender mercies' moments Daddy's always talking about.

Um...that's a big boot and I just can't stop staring. I have to climb it.

Even though it was pretty dark, for some reason Dad couldn't muscle up enough photographic talent to get the sign behind me clearly...Which states climbing on the boot could detrimental to my health.

Tell that to the moose I just made waltz into hunters HQ...

Now that I'm back with Daddy, things got back to normal real quick. Like pulling up to this fine dining establishment. Don't let the New England facade fool you...it's still just a McDonald's.

Before heading to the airport, Dad decided to detour through downtown Portland. After making some remarks of his disbelief on how you can find Mexican street vendors even in Maine, his frustration with San Francisco hippies and then Maineian hippies in the same week, and his semi-gay comments about how much he enjoys cobblestone streets and antique lampposts, I realized how much I love my Daddy!

Flash Back!

If one goes back to the genesis of this blog, he or she or it would realize this was actually a cry for help. Against all odds, I, Lil' G Uminski, not only learned to use a computer, but was able to obtain photographic evidence of my countless abductions at the hands of the 2009 Texas EFY BC team in the hope that my ever diligent daddy would come to my rescue! Alas, let the record show that he was pretty much as big of a failure in that department as he is with keeping up this blog.

However, Daddy and I have stumbled upon something wonderful and great; something from a time when summers consisted of yelling "lights out!" to HB's, laughing in the site office till all hours of the morning, and basking in the glow of the youth of Zion. Thanks to the efforts of Mark Bishop and Windows Movie Maker (which Daddy just now realized was on his laptop)....Behold, I give you, a flash back to the San Antonio 2 (technically it was 3, but let's not go there) 2009 Slide Show Finale, starring none other than ME....LIL' G!!!!!!



Stay tuned for my adventures in San Francisco, Maine, and the Fort Worth Stockyards!!