Miami and the Keys!

Dad was upgraded to a corner room on the 27th floor! It's a bit gloomy here in Miami, so let's head down to the Florida Keys!

Holy bananas, Key West was forever away. Dad thought it was like an hour from Miami...turns out it's out in the middle of the dad-gum ocean.


Along our 7 hr round trip, we come across a key that is supposedly is the natural habitat of an endangered deer species. I have sooooooo many questions:


1) How did deer make their natural habitat on an island?
2) If the hippies created a sanctuary, then why did they pick a place that has a highway going right down the middle?
3) These are 'key' deer...what makes them so critical and what role do they play?
3a) Are they celebrities?
3b)Do they put on shows or have their own blog?
3c) What paperwork do I need to fill out to get classified as a key giraffe?
3d) Is that a state or federal issue or do I need to bump it all the way up to the UN?
4) Who in their right mind is giving speed to the all-important and special deer?
4a) Why doesn't it kill the lame-o deer
4b) Is there some kind of well-known hierarchy to drug dealers, yet unknown to the scientific world, where only those deer who 'make it' are sold speed?4c) Is the reason for the fence to protect the public from whacked-out, psychopathic deer with a superiority complex?



We survived the Jurassic Park-like horror of the Key Deer and made it to Key West!

Whoa, we had no idea that one of America's most famous writers lived here in Key West. I was kinda impressed but Dad goes into a trance, reliving the nightmare of freshman year English when he was forced to read The Old Man and the Sea. 128 pages about an old Cuban fisherman who catches a huge fish, can't pull it in his little dingy, gets a little fish-crush on it, names it Reginald, kills Reginald, drags Reginald back to his village, oh no..shark!, oh no..shark!, oh no...shark!, pulls back into port with nothing but bones, the old man takes a nap.

Dad insisted he already wasted $6 bucks and 3 weeks of his life on Mr. Hemingway, there's no way Ernie is going to get another dime...so we moved on.

Ahhh...nothing like a little bit of sun to bring out my beautiful brown spots.

Dad had to go potty so he went back to the hotel for a few minutes. I was like:

Just go in the ocean?

What am I, some kind of animal?

Hurtful...

When he came back, he discovered me in this masterpiece. He seemed genuinely impressed that a stuffed little giraffe could construct such a wonder. Then I told him I just moved in after some boys built it and then scampered off. Then he said I ain't nothin' more than a squatter.

Hurtful...

Ahhhh.....would that we could ride a 777 everywhere we went. We had our own little TV and could watch any number of movies. Feeling bad for the insults he spat at me in a moment of desperation (guess he really had to use the bathroom), he let me watch Despicable Me. I know from the several giggles coming behind me he was enjoying it, too.

Where's our next adventure??